Do we need labels?

Do we need labels?

There are so many types of relations nowadays. It’s not just friend, acquaintance, lover, boyfriend, husband~. There online friends, online insta, fb friends, Snapchat friends, online study partners, dating app friends, friends of friends, followers, I’d even say texting friends when you don’t really meet but text. So which of those are important? How important is to know which relationship we are in?

I feel that although traditionally I always want to know clearly where we stands, I should start giving it up. Because if one type of relationship is going down, it still doesn’t mean that other one can’t be kept. The question is if I want to keep it in other type.

Or does it not matter about friends and acquaintances? Does it matter about partners/boyfriends/lovers?

What is the level of commitment nowadays anyways? How much we show us online? How much we show to our friends(one type or another)? Or how much we just enjoy ourselves together and individually?

It’s way too confusing to put those boundaries. I don’t want to be conservative but sometimes feels good to feel secure. But is it what I don’t get without label? Label won’t guarantee that it will stay this way. It can change with or without a label. So which one is better, less stressful, less hurtful if bad turn?


Time is now.

So I was walking back home and stopped by a playground near some local school. There were no people, quite, nice weather. I stopped to read some article I saved on a phone. Soon there were two kids who came playing and laughing around. They were proudly showing me some shoe paints they stole from school, and saying that they’ll paint all playground in green now. They asked me questions, just talking. Then one boy asked in what grade I am. I answered that I graduated already. Then his first guess on my age was 15, 16?17?18? ‘If more than 18 I’m not talking to you’ he said. I am. Boys were 5th and 6th graders.
Well, we kept talking time from time. Funny talks I’d say. “School starts already in 20 days. I don’t wanna go to that school”. “So what do you want?”, I asked. “Play.”, was his answer. But isn’t school time for playing? So much time after school, no big responsibilities, enjoy, explore, make mistakes.

Why do we always rush somewhere? Time to enjoy is now.

Our experiences is our locality

Our experiences is our locality
We are local where we make our rituals and relationships.

Rituals that make our every day routine, like work or school, coffee shop we like to enjoy sunny day, a park we’d rather go at ф free time, place we choose to meet with friends

Relationships – people who shape your days, whom you speak at least once a week, emotional experiences.
Relationships that are home for you

Where are you now, why aren’t you there?

My Rituals include Tokyo and surroundings. I live in Setagaya, thats where my school is, where i’d go to Starbucks and park where I would drink that coffee; streets I choose to walk or ride a bike instead of a bus, way to the station with the streets I do enjoy and feel safe at. Shibuya-ku is probably second place I go rather often. It’s short ride by train, its area of my work, place I can meet with people, enjoy myself alone, or explore surrounding. Do I go around Tokyo or Yokohama or other place? Yes. But am I local there? Not really. I dont know all the train lines, or buses, or places to go anytime. I need to research first. I do have good memories, and I like to repeat those memories. I have specials places outside. Maybe somebody know of them, maybe not.

My Relationships are formed in school, and baito and of course my family and some friends in Ukraine. I speak with my international friends once in a while, but they move on, move to different place just like me and I won’t even come back to exactly same neighboorhood I used love and be local at. Is it very bad? Not exactly. It’s part of me and who I became. I might come visit, or even stay again, but that would be different, new experience.
I like to keep and appreciate relationships, but in every day fast pace changing society, I accept change, even if it hurts to loose some relationships, we can’t keep everything close to heart at once. Priorities come. Experiences change. But we do keep the most precious in heart, and in mind.
This is something I can say about Kyiv. I love Kyiv. I had great times, people, relationships. But they changed. I changed, and I needed to move on with new experience. I do even wonder, how is to be accepted back on its streets. Level of my rituals and relationships is totally different. University life was supplemented with work, volunteering, social life. I wonder what opportunities I could’ve gained and if I can gain them here. Keep comparing, maybe it means I can’t move on and let go? Maybe yes or not. I want to keep, but it runs as water through my fingers, just leaving fresh touch in memories that dry away with time..
Why aren’t I in Kyiv or hometown? I chose not to. I chose to develop, make experiences and relationships other place. Can I come back? Yes. But I’ll need to learn to be local once again.

What are we really seeking when asking where you are from? and what do we really find?

Power game? More powerful countries.. Economic status and image. Just stereotypes.
We can’t go back to the same country. Something somewhere will always change, especially ourselves.

All of us are multi-local, multi-layered. We shouldn’t put us into some boundaries of mutual country, while we have too many different experiences.
I wish we knew our locality, accept and embrace it. Use all the opportunities you can get there. But dont make boundaries: not by nationality, nor by locality.

Inspired by Ted talk by the writer Taiye Selasi